They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
