i can't believe i had my finger in that
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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