This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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