Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
