I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
