Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
