Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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