I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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