Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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