I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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