Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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