it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
