we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
