ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im six kinds of drunk right now
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize