I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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