we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The Olympian is in my bed
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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