if you like me you must not know who I am
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
