If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
