Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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