I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
