i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
