Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
how does that bad decision feel?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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