dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
