Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
