i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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