how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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