He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
