I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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