I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
