So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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