Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
