fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm like, not good at living.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
