u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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