His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
