a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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