I accidentally had phone sex last night
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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