I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
