i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
