Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
