its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You ate ashes out of my bong
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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