I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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