either way he was missing a nipple.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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