I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
