I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
she woke up with a sticky ear
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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