If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
this will be a night to untag.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I can't turn off my feet"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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