Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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