Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
how drunk are you?
Several
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
