I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
