Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
