remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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